Government Claims Possible Existence of North Dakota
A.S.
January 2025
“My name is Sarah J. Wilson, and I’ve spent 15 years approving park benches in cities I’ve never heard of. I’m here today to clarify a truth long misunderstood by the American people. Despite what you’ve been told, North Dakota might exist. North Dakota could quite possibly be real. Currently, launching an inquiry to find it wasn't viable due to most of the DOI’s budget being diverted elsewhere. The department has tried to make headway but to no avail: We’ve spent years debating whether to allocate funding for a single intern to Google 'North Dakota' but have yet to reach a consensus. One committee completely fell apart after the chairperson was unable to tell which direction was north on a map. There have also been rumours that North Dakota is a conspiracy perpetuated by Big Corn, but I assure the public that North Dakota’s existential dilemma is totally not linked to the corn industry or their associated agricultural lobbyists whatsoever. As of now, I can neither confirm nor deny North Dakota’s existence. ”