The Flintridge Press Took Our Play-Doh
A.S.
December 2025
December 2025
In a completely unprovoked and hostile act, Prep’s Newspaper has stolen roughly 2 tons of pure, delectable PLAY-DOH® putty from the Biggest and Baddest club on campus. When members of The Big Bad returned from Thanksgiving Break, we could smell in the air the distinctive scent of Press columnists and reporters. After dusting for fingerprints, it was indeed confirmed that the Press were the perpetrators of this heinous crime. We at the Big Bad view this as an act of war, and believe a water balloon siege, as well as a full embargo, is necessary to right this wrong.
If they do not surrender and return the hostage Play-Doh, this plan will become a reality. And never mind the claims that it was actually Yearbook Club who framed the Press—that is simply preposterous, as they’re too busy fiddling around with eDesign to care. Press editors, if you’re reading this, don’t even think about ransoming us. We didn’t want war… but we didn’t start it.