Things to Do Over the Summer

A.S. Satire, The Big Bad
May 2025

As we rapidly approach summer, students are tasked with forgetting everything they learned over a three-month break. The administration has created a list of summer opportunities and other activities you can do!

  • Get a summer internship
  • Volunteer in your community
  • Learn to practice Mongolian falconry
  • Camp behind the BCB and don’t get caught
  • Leave your summer internship
  • Become an oil tanker captain 
  • Annex France
  • Meddle in the evolutionary process
  • Construct a non-Euclidean space
  • Rearrange all the digits of Pi
  • Sell poor-quality copper ingots to a Mesopotamian customer in 1750 BCE
  • Try anchovies for once